Maniac-94

A few time back, the thought of you not crossing my mind at least once a day would’ve seemed like a joke; cause after all you were my go-to, my confidant, my friend, my secret keeper, my homie, but most of all the one person who would get my perspectives, my reflections. I hoped that I was the same for you because I knew the type of person you were with your flaws and perfections, yet now in one of the most game-changing, mind boggling phase of life we’re in, you’re MIA. So, here’s my say. I would’ve called but stuff came up and you totally slipped my mind like the many times I would forget your birthday. I woul

The Feel.. When you choose to "Love" someone, who is, "damaged", you take on the weight of their past, their pain, their guilt. You must be strong, you must be patient. You can stop the bleeding and help them scar over but they will always, always be a little broken. If you can handle that, if you can accept the dents and the cracks, If you can get them to "Trust You", you will never find a better ally than one who is damaged. And above all else, they know about "The Survival."

Why is it so hard for me to tell you.                 That I adore you. That I am a mess really.                 Without you. That all I look forward to doing.                 Is talking to you. At this point I would do anything to tell you.                 How much I do. But of course my nervousness continues to shake me away.                 From what I want. I will keep trying. I will keep trying.

Stuck in the in-between, Straddling the lines of love and hate, Contradicting the absolutes, With resolutions to try harder; Try for a next time that may never come. Suppressing innermost agony, Attempting to acquire the inherent desires. Deflecting the reality of now, To avoid the question: "What happens next ?" Blinding the mind with hopes, Filling the heart with 'maybe', Plummeting the soul into anarchy. Yet, the need provides sustenance, The torment morphs into torture, Seconds age the body like years. Absence provokes a monster from beneath, Rage entwines with Jealousy, As memories of the unforgiven bursts forth. On an

Sometimes, I think when I walk alone Someone will abduct me Shaking my throbbing head. I think of all the reasons no one would want me. Sometimes, I think when I sit alone I am too emotional Rubbing my aching chest. I think of all the times I was heartless. Sometimes, I think when I can't sleep I am strong Wiping away the endless tears. I finally stop lying to myself. Looking at all my problems I find the source of all these self inflicted wounds Scarring my tender flesh A cold reminder of the harsh truth I Am Alone.

I didn't want to say goodbye like this. I didn't want our friendship to end. I didn't expect you to distance yourself I didn't want to lose another friend I can't do anything now It's time to walk away We've been hurt too much There's only one final thing to say Do you know? I've dreaded this moment for a long time But I knew that eventually That I would have to say this line We promised we would do so much together I guess we lied Didn't we say "Friends Forever"? Another friendship pushed to the side. We don't "click" anymore Let the misery end here Keep the memories Mine are always near I hope this isn't goodbye My Near

Tell me a story about your life And I'll tell you mine Give me a reason not to lie So I'll tell you the truth, next time Whisper a secret in my ear And I'll tell you a tale Forgive me but this is my fear I despise talking in detail Give me a reason not to scream And I'll tell you why it hurts It's like acid in my bloodstream This terror of being attached Sorry if I ask for too much For I am still learning How to Trust

It's just fine Just stab me with that knife I'm just fine Rip my heart out when I'm alive All that I see Is you in my dreams All that I see Is that my heart is incomplete It's just fine My heart's made of ice It's just fine Just make me feel alive

i.  last night i woke up just in time     to pronounce myself dead.     i figured, at the very least     i deserve to say it first.     i figure i've earned that much.     instant death- or     death in an instant-     allegedly painless.     they try to tell you     earnestly    "she never felt a thing" ii.  ryan,      remember that      your heart beats until it doe